Crane Count: 1/1000

"And you have given me a heart attack you’ll never know
What it’s like to have to face the fact you might let go"

Listening: Come Back Home (Home Is Where The Heart Is) - Jamestown Story feat Stephen Jerzak

It's actually pretty hard for me to find things to write about D: It's hard for me to write on this blog without the impulse or inspiration. How sad.

Anyways, I have started on the road to discovering myself, to find who I am and what I want to be in the future. I may never complete this journey. . . And that makes me sad. I really do wonder who I'll be in 5 years or even 1 year. But what's the fun in knowing? Thinking about the future makes me tired.

Gummy Octopi<3

Sincerely,
Michelle

What Time Is It?

Listening: Marie Digby - Avalanche

"I would rather spend my life close to the birds then waste it wishing I had wings."

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. . .we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

I don't really know why I have these quotes here, but I like them!

So again, I am almost done with another drama, and I become sad when I think of having to find another one ): But I have to find some way to occupy my time this summer. . . Perhaps I should start my summer homework? But I'm only two weeks into my summer, how can I be thinking of that!? I can tell that this summer will be one of my favorite or the best, hopefully. I found out though, I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled a.s.a.p. ): That is very sad tear.

I am happy because I am still close to all my friends. I am happy because I have mint oreo cookies. I am happy because I feel like I am living. Dream like you'll live forever. Live like you'll die tomorrow.

So smile! Have fun, be optimistic.

Happily,
Michelle

Hello June. Hello Summer.

Ahh. So refreshed right now. I just finished this amazing K-Drama. I made me sad that it ended, sadder than Hana Kimi I think. I finished talking to my friends on the phone, she makes me smile. I just ate cake with my family celebrating my brother's graduation!

I realized so many things these past weeks.

While I was in Michigan I realized how much I do treasure my family. Just when I was ready to get away from everything at home, things were good for my family for once. But now again I am just as ready to leave everything behind, but I don't think I can. Things in life are unbelievable right now, almost. I have amazing friends and an amazing summer to look forward to.

My brother graduating made me really proud? I don't know quite yet. It's hard imagining him leaving in two months. I got to see him walk up on stage and graduate with all his friends. He will always be my brother o:

If you live life doing your best and without regrets then things will hurt less, knowing that you tried your hardest. Haha, that's from my drama ;D I wish I could live my life with no regrets but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what might or might not happen.

So you say that life is moving by fast? So you say that things are going slow and that you're bored? Well here's reality, time moves just as fast as it does for everyone in the world. One second will always be one second no matter how 'fast' you think it is going. So live life to it's fullest with no regrets about how you spend that time.

I thought I had said goodbye but I guess not. It makes me frustrated that once I accept an 'empty' friendship that person just comes back. After I was able to accept that they we're no longer there for me, they come back thinking that I have open arms, which I do because I'm too nice. But they need to understand that it hurt me, that they left me. I don't want to be the person that's there because it's convenient. I don't want to fall back into 'old habits' just because that person needs me to. It's not fair to me or my feelings. Why should I have to?

Guitar is going good. Piano is well too. I am happy. I am smiling. I am enjoying life. I am not mad at myself anymore. I have no regrets about what I did or didn't do in the past because I can't change it. I am satisfied; I am content, but is that enough? My friend believes that no guy will ever be good enough for me, is that to be true?

Will I ever be eternally happy?

안녕,
Michelle